Monday, June 1, 2009

If the Obama Administration were a Monty Python Skit

So, we have double digit unemployment, trillion dollar deficits and -5 percent economic growth and to top it off our taxes are being raised in a recession no less. I mean things are so wacky right now that I couldn't help but make the comparison between The Obama Administration (TOA) and a Monty Python Skit. However, dear readers of mine (all 2 of you) it must be asked which skit would best describe the awesome asininity that is TOA. Therefore, humbly, I submit the following as possible choices:


This skit encapsulates TOA quite nicely. For example just last week Obama (The Big O) went out to hollywood for a fund raiser and told the glitterati the following:

"It's safe to say we have stepped back from the brink, that there is some calm that didn't exist before,"

The Big O also told celebrities at the Beverly Hilton Hotel that "

"..the stimulus bill that Congress passed three months ago is starting to improve the economy."


Thats not a silly walk he's showing us, but it's possibly the silliest thing I've heard in a long time. Besides, today The Big O cited the fine work of his "Auto Task Force" in the sinking of GM. Can a ministry of "Silly Walks" department be far behind? Maybe he could find a female african-american transgendered lesbian to fill the post.

My second pick is this skit. I defintely feel like the applicant in this one.


This one reminds me of The Big O promising all this great stuff under his stimulus bill that only the government can provide. Problem is... the stuff isn't all that great and you end up looking like an ass trying to take advantage of it. Besides, in the end as in the skit it was all hoax -- at the expense of the American people of course.

I also like this one:


Not a lot of great parallels here with TOA except that what comes out of it sure does stink!

Finally, after giving a lot of thought (probably way too much) on this, I believe that this one best fits TOA. Its a bit long, but worth it.


To me this skit beautifully typifies TOA. An administration that represents a whole lot of nothing. Of course to make it work you'd have to change the script a little. So that's exactly what I've done. So without further ado, I present

"The American Dream Shop"

The Players:
Middle Class America aka MCA;
Barack Obama aka The Big O;
The Scene:
A Beautiful luxuriant and modern skyscraper replete with solar panels and a sewer reclamation plant built right in, which carries the signs:
'Ye Olde American Dream Shop';
'Barack Obama, The Big O, Purveyor of I know whats best for you';
'Licensed for Destruction of Free Market Economies';
Two men dressed as city gents are Greek dancing in the corner to the music of Jon Bon Jovi.
MCA enters.

MCA:
Good Morning.
The Big O:
Good morning, sir. Welcome to the National Dream Emporium.
MCA:
Ah, thank you my good man.
MCA:
Well, I was, uh, sitting at home searching the Internet for job openings just now, skimming through DICE and Monster and such, and I suddenly came over all peckish.
The Big O:
Peckish, sir?
MCA:
Esurient.
The Big O:
Eh?
MCA:
(In a broad Yorkshire accent) Eee I were all hungry, like.
The Big O:
Ah, hungry.
MCA:
In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, 'the American dream seems out of reach, how can it be obtained?'. So I curtailed my browsing activities, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some American Dreams.
The Big O:
Come again?
MCA:
I want to be happy, free and successful.
The Big O:
Oh, I thought you were complaining about Jon Bon Jovi.
MCA:
Oh, heaven forbid. I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse.
The Big O:
Sorry?
MCA:
(In a broad Yorkshire accent) Ooo, I like a nice tune - you're forced to.
The Big O:
So they can go on playing, can they?
MCA:
Most certainly. Now then, some dreams please, my good man.
The Big O:
Certainly, sir. What would you like?
MCA:
Well, eh, I was hoping for some real change?
The Big O:
I'm afraid we're fresh out of change sir.
MCA:
Oh never mind, how are you on Hope?
The Big O:
I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir. We get it fresh on Monday.
MCA:
Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four opportunities at a new job, if you please.
The Big O:
Ah. It's been on order, sir, for two weeks. I was expecting it this morning.
MCA:
It's not my lucky day, is it? Er, More Liberty?
The Big O:
Sorry, sir.
MCA:
Lower Capital Gains?
The Big O:
Normally, sir, yes. Today the government needs it.
MCA:
Ah. Private Sector Investments?
The Big O:
Sorry.
MCA:
Justice, Individual Liberty, Gun Ownership, Freedom From Religious Persecution, Equal Justice Under the Law?
The Big O:
No.
MCA:
Lower Income Taxes, perhaps?
The Big O:
Ah! We have Lower Income Taxes, yes sir.
MCA:
You do! Excellent.
The Big O:
Yes, sir. It's, ah ..... it's a bit complicated.
MCA:
Oh, I like it complicated.
The Big O:
Well, it's very complicated, actually, sir.
MCA:
No matter. Fetch hither L'américain de la liberté de faibles taux d'imposition! M-mmm!
The Big O:
I think it's a bit more complicated than you'll like it, sir.
MCA:
I don't care how f-ing complicated it is. Hand it over with all speed.
The Big O:
Oh .....
MCA:
What now?
The Big O:
Acorn and the unions have eaten it.
MCA:
Have you?
The Big O:
They, sir.
(pause)
MCA:
Smaller Government?
The Big O:
No.
MCA:
Less Government Waste?
The Big O:
No.
MCA:
You do have some American Dreams, do you?
The Big O:
Of course, sir. It's an American Dream shop, sir. We've got .....
MCA:
No, no, don't tell me. I'm keen to guess.
The Big O:
Fair enough.
MCA:
Er, Spiritual Enlightenment?
The Big O:
Yes?
MCA:
Ah, well, I'll have some of that.
The Big O:
Oh, I thought you were talking to me, sir. my wife calls me her Spiritual Enlightenment you see.
(pause)
MCA:
Less Government Regulation?
The Big O:
Ah, not as such.
MCA:
Er, Increasing GDP?
The Big O:
No.
(pause)
MCA:
Ah, how about Freedom From Government Oppresion?
The Big O:
Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir.
MCA:
Not much ca- It's the single most important role of the constitution!
The Big O:
Not round here, sir.
MCA:
And what is the most popular American Dream around here?
The Big O:
Affordable HealthCare, sir.
MCA:
Is it.
The Big O:
Oh yes, sir. It's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire.
MCA:
Is it.
The Big O:
It's our number-one best seller, sir.
MCA:
I see. Ah, Affordable HealthCare, eh?
The Big O:
Right, sir.
MCA:
All right. Okay. Have you got any, he asked expecting the answer no?
The Big O:
I'll have a look, sir ..... nnnnnnooooooooo.
MCA:
It's not much of a dream shop, is it?
The Big O:
Finest in the district, sir.
MCA:
Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please.
The Big O:
Well, it's so clean, sir.
MCA:
It's certainly uncontaminated by personal freedom and entrepreneurship.
The Big O:
You haven't asked me about Happiness, sir.
MCA:
Is it worth it?
The Big O:
Could be.
MCA:
Have you- SHUT THAT BLOODY Jon Bon Jovi UP!
The Big O:
(To dancers) Told you so.
MCA:
Have you got any Happiness?
The Big O:
No.
MCA:
That figures. Predictable really, I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place
The Big O:
Yes, sir?
MCA:
Have you in fact got any American Dreams here at all?
The Big O:
Yes, sir.
MCA:
Really?
(pause)
The Big O:
No. Not really, sir.
MCA:
You haven't.
The Big O:
No, sir, not a scrap. I was deliberately lieing to you to bring down this country and ruin the American Dream, sir.
MCA:
Well, I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ignore you.
The Big O:
Right-O, sir.
MCA:
(Ignores him) What a senseless waste of the American Experience.


This would be funny, unfortunately its too true.

Have you got a skit that works better?


1 comment:

  1. I loved the re-write of the cheese shop! Only you could link Mr. Obama and Monty Python ...

    ReplyDelete